Broadband Speed and Whiny McCryface

Every now and then one of these stories comes along saying "WAAAAAAAAAAAAH, the United States has broadband that's way slower than everyone else in the world!"

Let's ponder this for a moment. Can you think of a reason why Japan, South Korea, and France have more bandwidth on average?

Maybe it's because, compared to the United States, they're THE SIZE OF A FUCKING POSTAGE STAMP?

I mean, I have a network in my living room that has over fifteen fucking times the bandwidth Japan does. It's called a gigabit LAN, and at this rate it'll take Japan a few millennia to catch up to its "speed." The United States will never catch up, largely because the United States is a big bunch of retarded stupidheads (at least that's the implication in most of these articles). What do we even know about the internet, anyway? Like... nothing. We basically copied it from Japan.